1. It is well documented that for every mile that you
jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you,
at age 85, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $5,000 per month.
2. My grandmother started walking 5 miles a day when
she was 60. She is now 97 and we don't know where she is.
3. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I
could hear heavy breathing again.
4. I joined a health club last year, spent about $400.
Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.
5. I have to exercise early in the morning before my
brain figures out what I am doing.
6. I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch
our toes, he would have put them further up our body.
7. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by
people who annoy me.
8. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach
covers them.
9. The advantage of exercising every day is that you
die healthier.
10. And last, but not least, I don't jog - it makes the
ice jump right out of my glass.