A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and
while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The
monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs
some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps onto the pool table,
grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to
everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey
just did?" The guy says "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off
my pool table---whole!" "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied
the guy, "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry.
I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink,
pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him.
He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar
again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a
maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt,
pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you
see what your monkey did now?" he asks. "No, what?" replies the guy.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, pulled it out,and ate
it!" said the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me", replied
the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he
swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first."