The day finally arrives; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the
Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and
Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper. St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's
certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must; inform you
that the place is filling up fast, and we've been
administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are short, but
you have to pass them before you can get into Heaven. Forrest responds, "It
shor is good to be here St. Peter, sir. But Moma
never tolt me about any entrance exam". "Shor hope the test ain't too hard;
life was big enough test as it was." St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know,
Forrest, but the test is only three questions. Here is the First:
What days of the week begin with the letter T? Second: How many seconds are
there in a year? Third: What is God's first name?" Forrest leaves to think
the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter who waves him
up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over,
tell me your answers Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- how many days in
the week begin with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today
and Tomorrow. The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest,; that's
not what I was thinking, but... you do have point though, and I guess I
didn't specify, so I'll give you credit for that answer. How about the next
one?" asks St. Peter. "How many seconds in a year?" "Now that one's harder,"
says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about that and I guess the only answer
can be twelve. Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in
Heaven's name could you come up with twelve; seconds in a year?" Forest says
"Shucks, there gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd "Hold
it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this, and I see
your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind, but I'll have to
give; you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the next and final
question. Can you tell me God's first name"?
"Sure" Forrest replied, "it's Andy "Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated
frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can understand how you came up with your
answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up
with the name of Andy as the first name of God?" "Shucks, that was the
easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song. "ANDY
WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN...... St.
Peter opened the gate and said: "Run, Forrest, Run"