A strikingly handsome young man walked into the office of a Hollywood
Agent with his resume and portfolio in hand. The agent reviewed the young
man's slim resume and small portfolio with the care that was deserving of
this fine young specimen.
"You have the very obvious good looks and excellent demeanor of an actor.
Tell me, have you had any roles that I might be aware of."
"Other than the requisite high school and college plays, no sir," said
the handsome young man.
"I dare say I know the reason why, with a name like yours," said the
agent.
"Sir?"
"Your name. Penis Van Lesbian. That's not a name that will go far in
Hollywood. I'd love to represent you, but you'll have to change your
name."
"Sir," the handsome young man protested. "The Van Lesbian name was my
father's, my grandfather's and his father's name. We have carried this
name for generations and I will not change it for Hollywood or any other
reason."
"If you won't change your name, I cannot represent you young man."
"Then I bid you farewell-my name will not change." With that, Penis Van
Lesbian left the agents office never to return.
Five Years Later...
The Hollywood agent returned to his office after lunch with some
Producers and shuffled through his mail. Mostly junk mail, trade journals
and the like. There was one letter. He opened the envelope and removed
the letter. As he unfolded the fine linen paper, a check dropped from
the folds and onto his desk. He looked at the check. It was for 50,000
dollars! He read the letter:
Dear Sir,
Several years ago, I entered your office determined to become an actor.
You refused to represent me unless I changed my name. I objected, saying
the Penis Van Lesbian name had been carried for generations and left
your office. However, upon leaving, I chanced to reconsider my
hastiness and after considerable reflection, I decided to heed your
advise and endeavored to change my name. Now I am a famous actor with
many roles and known to millions worldwide. Having achieved this fame and
fortune, it is often that I think back to my meeting with you and your
insistence that I change my name. I owe you a debt of gratitude, so
please accept this check with my humble thanks, for it was your idea
which has brought me to such wealth and fame.