1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where
my watch is buddy, where is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where
the bathroom is?
2. The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he has no dick.
3. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for
the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel
manually.
4. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." What
good is a cake you can't eat?
5. When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is.
Why would you keep looking after you've found it?
6. When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?"
No ASSHOLE, I paid $7.50 to come to the theater and stare at the friggin
ceiling up there.
7. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"..... Didn't really give me a
choice, did ya there buddy?
8. When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there
has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then it must not
be the first one!!
9. When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were
going? You should know you pulled me over!