REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T Fired President John Walter after nine months, saying
he lacked intellectual leadership." He received a $26 million
severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting
to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home.
After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the
man was standing beside them in the police line,
shouting "Please come out and give yourself up."
WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a
motorist and forced him to drive to two different
automated teller machines,
wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money
from his own bank accounts.
THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for
all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the
take was too small, so
he tied up the store clerk and worked the
counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed
him.
DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck
with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself
during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to
repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted,
"That's not what I said!"
ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
A man spoke frantically into the
phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two
minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!",
the man shouted, "This is her husband!"
NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In Modesto, California, Steven Richard
King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch
without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to
simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in
his pocket. (hellllllooooooo!)