Thermodynamic Question: Is Hell Exothermic (releasing heat) or
Endothermic (absorbing heat)?
Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical
Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997.
Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "Why do airplanes
fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May
1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell
exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass.
If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate
are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think
we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's
look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of
these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion,
then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these
religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all people and souls go to hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change in volume in hell. Boyle's law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass
of souls and volume needs to stay constant.
Two options exist:
1. If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase
until all hell breaks loose.
2. If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes
over.
So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan
during Freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in Hell before I
sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT
succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be
true...