It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar.
I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark
and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey
Sweetarts, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar
Bar?"
Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like pure
ALMOND JOY! I couldn't help but grab her delicious Mounds because it
was easy to see that this little Twix had the Red Hots. It was all I could
do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight
little Kit Kat and she started to scream "Oh Henry, Oh Henry!" Soon she was
fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn't be long before I
blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her a taste of the old Milky Way.
She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said, "hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff."
I said "Look you little Reese's Pieces, don't be a Zero, Be a Lifesaver. Why
don't you take my Watchamacallit and slip it up your Bit ~O~ Honey?" (What
a piece of Juicy Fruit she was too!)
She screamed, "Oh Crackerjack, better than the Three Musketeers!" As
I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter
Cup. Well, I was giving it to her Good ~N~ Plenty, when all of a sudden...
My Starburst!
Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a
Wrigley in her stomach. Sure enough, 9 months later, out popped...... Baby
Ruth!