Science Guy Bill Nye killed in Massive Vinegar/ Baking
Soda Explosion:
SEATTLE--In a shocking, educational tragedy, PBS
television host and science guy William "Bill" Nye was
killed Monday in a massive vinegar/baking-soda
explosion that destroyed an entire city block and
showed kids how they can inflate their very own
weather balloon using everyday household items.
"Today, we mourn the loss of a truly great guy of
science," said Nye Labs spokesman Phil Anspaugh,
standing near the still-foaming blast site. "Bill Nye
was a man who, more than anything else, wanted to
enlighten, entertain, and demonstrate how vinegar and
baking soda combine to create carbon-dioxide gas."
According to colleagues, Nye, the popular host
of Bill Nye The Science Guy, had previously performed
the fatal experiment on a much smaller scale without
incident. On Monday, however, he filled a 5,000-gallon
In-Ground Steel Container Of Science to the top with
white vinegar and pulled a Giant Red Lever Of Science,
releasing a dump-truck load of baking soda into the
vat.
"The resulting exothermic reaction was supposed
to inflate the Giant Weather Balloon Of Science that
Nye had suspended above the vat," Anspaugh said. "But
something went horribly wrong and the resulting
explosion destroyed the tank, the truck, the balloon,
and Nye himself. We're still searching for his body
and bow tie."
"Did you know that if you put all of your body's
blood vessels in a line, they would stretch around the
Earth two and a half times?" Anspaugh added. "Well,
now you know."
Local police are working closely with Nye Labs
to determine what may have caused the routine
experiment to go awry.
"Bill Nye was a very careful man," Nye Labs
technician Julie Eng said. "All of his experiments
were suitable for children to perform, as long as they
made sure to have an adult assist them with the hard
parts and to wear eye protection. For him to die this
way, it's unthinkable."
However, other Nye Labs employees noted that
Nye's unquenchable thirst for knowledge had led him
into dangerous territory before, citing the series of
static-electricity experiments which resulted in Nye
being burned over 75 percent of his body while
electrostatically suspended from the roof of the
Kingdome.
"There was nothing he wouldn't do in his quest
for scientific knowledge,"Nye Labs bio-engineer Randy
Grein said. "He gave of himself so that we might know
more about the world around us. Without Bill, we never
would have known that a sneeze sends germs flying out
of your nose at 100 mph, owls can turn their heads 270
degrees, and Mercury and Venus are the only planets
without moons."
Grein admitted to familiarity with the dark side
of Nye's obsessive vision. "I still have nightmares
about the Very Large And Extreme Gyroscope Of
Science," Grein said. "That monstrous apparatus almost
taught the children of Seattle about angular momentum
the hard way."
Grein also noted Nye's aborted attempt to build
the world's largest soda-bottle water tornado, which
burst during its final stages of construction, soaking
hundreds.
"Bill's only fault was that he pushed the
envelope a little too far sometimes," Grein said.
"Especially with the baking-soda-and-vinegar
experiment. I always knew that would be the one to get
him in the end."